Have you spent the summer thinking about your future? You’ve successfully brought your lawn back to life, finished the book you started last winter, and relaxed on the patio with friends and family, but still feel like something is missing?
My first encounter with the “Sauna Queen” concept was in an old Russian bathhouse from the Tsarist era in Moscow. I walked into a large sauna with a dozen Russian and foreign businessmen, expecting to enjoy a steam sauna, followed by hot, medium, and cold baths.
Sweat was pouring down my body, but suddenly everything went weird. A large, pot-bellied Russian man stood up and turned to face us, the towel around his waist somehow defying gravity. He paused for a moment, looked around the group, and adjusted his sauna hat.
He then shouted some instructions in Russian that we didn’t understand and dumped a large bucket of water on the hot rocks. A jet of steam instantly shot up to the ceiling like a mushroom cloud. He pulled out another towel and waved it vigorously over his head. he shouted, waving the towel toward the ceiling like a helicopter rotor, showering us all with steam.
Within seconds we were all exhausted, the panic on our faces had disappeared, and smiles had appeared. Three Jacuzzis followed, followed by shrimp, beer, and crazy stories about the Russian stock market.
From that moment on, I realized that there are many ways to become a sauna queen. Some are friendly sauna guides, always ready to provide their friends with the necessary amount of heat and steam. Some are heat junkies, happy to listen to stories about plastic thermometers melting off the walls. Others insist on keeping the sauna closed, demanding the opportunity to roll around in the snow or crawl through a hole cut in the ice.
Two summers ago, on the banks of the Yukon River, our sauna queen spent the day building a fire and heating rocks. We rolled the rocks into a hole, covered them with a tarp, and doused them with water. When the screams died down, our sauna queen lifted the tarp and led everyone to the river with a rescuer’s enthusiasm in her eyes.
If Whitehorse were in Scandinavia, the city would probably have 10 times as many saunas. Many North Americans think of a sauna as a wooden box where you overheat, show off your sweaty skin to your acquaintances, and then roll around in the snow due to peer pressure.
If you’re looking for a little relaxation, head to the sauna at the Canada Games Centre or the new Takini Hot Springs Spa.
Spas from Germany to Las Vegas are taking the sauna experience to the next level with a trend they call “aufguss.” The trend combines essential oils, wellness buzzwords, and performance art. The sauna might feature neon lights and pulsating music, and a sauna queen performs a complex, rhythmic dance with towels.
You can also go online and order the Westinghouse 2-Person Infrared Sauna, a large wooden phone booth that’s easy to install in your home. The original price is $3,199.99, but it’s currently $500 off at Best Buy.
However, if you really want to be a sauna queen, you should build your own sauna. There are many interesting projects available online, from simple 8×8 foot boxes to more complex options. If you use the power grid, you can choose a safe and convenient electric heater.
As a sauna queen, you can also decide what strange foreign customs will be incorporated into your sauna. Russian sauna hat? A bathing suit or a natural bathing suit? Want to follow the example of the Finns and whip your friend with fragrant birch twigs to improve blood circulation?
Or you might decide to leave all the weird stuff to our European friends and just build a cozy deck to relax on when the temperatures drop.
In the Yukon, you can enjoy a sauna year-round. However, building a sauna is a summer job. So if the words “Sauna Queen” are on your bucket list, now is the time to get started.
Keith Halliday is a Yukon economist, author of the young adult adventure novel Aurora, and co-host of the podcast The Story of the Klondike Gold Rush. He won the 2022 Outstanding Columnist Award from the Canadian Community Newspaper.
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